Dare to Stay

Dare #4 Dare to Stay

Should I stay or should I go?

Yesterday I dared you to leave. Today I’m daring you to stay. What’s the deal? Sometimes it’s time to dig in and stay.

There have been times when I’ve chosen to stick with a relationship, stick with a friend, a project, an idea and run with it and I’ve been glad I did.

This year marks 30 years of my husband and I being together. We met on Christmas Day and have celebrated each one since then together. It’s a relationship I’ve stayed with.

Have there been times I could have left? For sure. When things get tough we all have that inner conversation that says, ‘I’ve had enough. I’m going.’

I’m sure there have been many times he could have said the same thing. But why are some relationships worth staying for and some worth leaving?

Why are some jobs worth staying for and some worth leaving?

There’s a whole book in both of those questions so I’m just going to give one story to illustrate why you should stay in some situations.

I’ve had a lot of leaving in my life. I left a career I loved more than just about anything, I’ve left churches, I’ve left a few friendships and I’ve left a fair bit of baggage behind too!

Since leaving teaching and taking up writing, it’s been a challenge to stay with it. For five years, I played at both. I studied a post graduate education degree, became a relief administrator in schools and dabbled with the idea of returning to teaching. I even spent a year as Acting Principal of a school until I finally got it out of my system.

I published my first book four years after first leaving teaching. I sat back and thought to myself, ‘That’s it. You’ve done it. You’re a writer.’ My husband and children kept asking me, ‘When is your next book coming out?’

Next book? My goal was to write a book. I’ve written a book. What’s the problem?

Had I given up a career to write one book? After a lot of soul searching I began writing another book. I published that. Now can I finish?

I’d become involved in training teachers in Cambodia and loved using my skills in this way. Writing could wait.

I began writing a novel in 2009. It took about six months and then I took it to an editor. She told me to rewrite it. I spent eight months rewriting it.

I took it to an agent in the US. She told me it wasn’t ready. I rewrote it.

Another year passed. It was finally published in 2012. Three years!

Your resources are always far greater than you imagine them to be. Never ask, “Can I do this? Ask instead, “How can I do this?” – Dan Zadra

I began writing articles for magazines and blogs. I did some writing and editing for my husband’s photographic books. I finally realised I wasn’t a teacher anymore. I was a writer.

I’ve just finished writing my third YA novel and have begun the fourth. There are five in the series. I’ve also begun another YA novel, a contemporary women’s fiction novel and another non-fiction book.

I’ve attended conferences in the US. Completed summer school at Oxford University. Enjoyed a retreat in Tuscany. I’ve stuck with writing. I’ve invested time, money and studied to improve my skills.

I’ve stuck with writing when it would have been comfortable and lovely to stay teaching.

Staying with writing has been a huge challenge. I believe I could have been happy if I’d stayed with teaching, but to dare to stay with the adventure of being a writer has been the best choice ever. This is my calling. This has been my dream since I was ten years old. I took a few gap years between where I taught, had children and lived a great life, but I’m into the real world now where you get down to work on your vocation. Stay doesn’t mean stopping. Staying means to keep moving. I’m inching ever closer to my dreams by staying.

Sometimes you make choices in life and sometimes choices make you.

Gayle Forman, If I Stay